Blogging has gotten progressively more difficult over the last few months. I'm finding very little spare time to sit down and do the thing I so enjoy. Besides having a lot on my plate at work, I've focused a lot on my friends during the week and usually get home just in time to crash into my very comfy pillow. So, here I am at 1:30 a.m. sitting in bed and wondering when my mind will shut off long enough to allow me to drift to sleep.
The last month has proven to be pretty successful overall. I'm realizing the need to revamp my current ministry and am giving the youth department a new face. In doing so, I've been asked to do the Arkansas Church of God Junior Youth Camp this summer...which adds to my busy schedule. The planning is time-consuming but usually proves to be pretty fun in the process. I'm bringing my group of teens along with me from the church to help and I don't think any of us could be any more excited.
With all this success in my ministry and life, I am finding it even harder to decide when to take my next step and in what direction that next step might be. I've done more thinking about my life and direction that I have in a very long time and have not concluded a thing. I know that I have gotten rid of a lot of negative influences in my life that used to keep me in a rut of confusion. But doing that also got rid of some of my driving forces. It's weird...negativity DOES drive me. If I feel rejected...I work that much harder to be accepted. If I feel like a failure...I work myself to the bone to become a success. In a few areas of my life, I realized a theme of negativity. So much so that I had to rid my life of some people and some things that I truly loved. The outcome was positive...but it also took away the bigger things I focused on. No longer was I seeking acceptance. After being rejected enough times and in enough ways, I find it easy to walk away. Every once in a while I get a hint of curiosity to know what it'd be like to be back in that position. Then, I also realize, I'm a smarter, more successful woman because I could let go.
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The last month has proven to be pretty successful overall. I'm realizing the need to revamp my current ministry and am giving the youth department a new face. In doing so, I've been asked to do the Arkansas Church of God Junior Youth Camp this summer...which adds to my busy schedule. The planning is time-consuming but usually proves to be pretty fun in the process. I'm bringing my group of teens along with me from the church to help and I don't think any of us could be any more excited.
With all this success in my ministry and life, I am finding it even harder to decide when to take my next step and in what direction that next step might be. I've done more thinking about my life and direction that I have in a very long time and have not concluded a thing. I know that I have gotten rid of a lot of negative influences in my life that used to keep me in a rut of confusion. But doing that also got rid of some of my driving forces. It's weird...negativity DOES drive me. If I feel rejected...I work that much harder to be accepted. If I feel like a failure...I work myself to the bone to become a success. In a few areas of my life, I realized a theme of negativity. So much so that I had to rid my life of some people and some things that I truly loved. The outcome was positive...but it also took away the bigger things I focused on. No longer was I seeking acceptance. After being rejected enough times and in enough ways, I find it easy to walk away. Every once in a while I get a hint of curiosity to know what it'd be like to be back in that position. Then, I also realize, I'm a smarter, more successful woman because I could let go.
