The Day...And Potential...

The last few hours have been a blur today. At first, I was thinking it was going to be a typical Saturday as I was expect to show up and babysit some friends' kids this evening. As you all know, I've been hard at work on my book "Chronicles of a Preacherette." It wasn't long ago I decided to compile my poetry together into a small "appetizer" of sorts before I released the big book. While this serves as a promotional book for the big project, this little thing also gives me something to cross off my "Things to do before I die" list as being able to "Publish a book."

I was getting out of the shower this morning when I heard a knock on the door. Not expecting anyone and not being decent enough to answer the door, I quietly sneaked to the peep hole to see who it was. I looked out to see no one there so I went back to the back room to continue getting ready. I was finally dressed and ready to go when I opened the front door. Just as a did, a box fell into the entry way. I reached down to grab it to see the Lulu Publishing House trademark. It is at this very moment I became a crazed lunatic! I excited ran and grabbed the nearest pair of scissors and cut off the bindings around the box. I took a moment to take a picture of the box even...I was so excited. I opened it up and almost cried...the thing was so beautiful.

I've come to know that potential can be realized. However, if you never take the step of faith to make something come out of that potential...it won't. But if you put your best foot forward...potential can suddenly become reality. Today it came right to my door in the form of a beautiful book.

[ ... ]

Gravity...

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

CHORUS
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

CHORUS
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I
Try to make you see that you're
Everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I
Can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're keeping me down, yeah, yeah, yeah
You're onto me, onto me and all over

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long

[ ... ]

Old Friends Become New...

Last night I had the opportunity to hang out with an old friend from high school. Actually, this person had been a very close friend for a few years and then we dated for a short time our Senior year. I remember our breakup didn't go so well and I was pretty jaded. I cut off all contact with him up until a couple of years ago when he popped on messenger one night and I decided to say hello. It seems as though he's grown up a lot...and for the better.

He came over to the apartment and I had fixed some soup. We sat down to eat it and he begin to say a prayer of blessing over the meal. Though I know I should've been paying attention, I looked up in amazement at how much he'd changed. He prayed fervently and thanked God for his time with me and for the fellowship. I don't remember one time when he would've done that in the past. For the first time I saw him as not some high school boy...he was a grown man.

We talked about some of the things we'd done over the past few years. Our heartaches and successes kept us occupied in conversation for a long while. Then, we did something that was pretty traditional for us when we were in high school...we baked cookies. As funny as that sounds, it was fun to feel like we were in high school again. We ended the night with a movie and lots of laughing. It's then I realized how possible it is for old friends to become new friends again. Despite the hurts and the past wounds, forgiveness can be one of the biggest blessings.

[ ... ]

A Dream...

Lately, I've noticed a sudden increase in my dreams. I wasn't used to many dreams before and chalked it up to not getting good enough sleep or hitting the REM sleep stage. A couple of weeks ago, however, I started dreaming quite frequently and very vividly. Last night happened to be the worst, by far. My dream had to do with me getting married...and in the beginning of the dream, I was very happy. For some reason (and I don't recall the details of it), my husband was diagnosed with something. In the dream, I knew we had a very short time before he would die. So I remember trying very hard to get to him to spend that time with him. However, things would happen to keep me from getting to him. Finally, when I reached where he was, I was told that he'd passed away. In my dream, I was devastated...and even waking up this morning wiped real tears away from my eyes.

It's odd that a dream that is just a vapor of existence in my mind could cause such an emotional reaction. Loving, no matter what the circumstance, is sometimes one of the most heartbreaking interactions a person can have (and, in this case, even when the love is returned and welcomed). I learned something from my dream...that loving may mean heartache...but the part that comes before may be the most beautiful of all.

[ ... ]

Love Song for No One...

Stay at home alone on a Friday
Flat on my floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes have faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Get here..

Searching all my days just to find you
Not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Till then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Just staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
Oh no away
yadadadada
dadadada
dadada..

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me

[ ... ]

Reserve Yours NOW!

The new book will be released December 12th! It is a poetry compilation to serve as an "appetizer" before the novel. I'm giving discounts to all those who order through me (instead of Amazon.com, etc). To reserve your copy, send me an email at karihaywood@yahoo.com and I'll shoot you an email upon the release for you to order and pay for your copy at that time. Reserved copies will take 2-3 weeks to arrive unless you order from another bookstore (it'll be quicker but more expensive that route).

[ ... ]